Foodie Friday… Yeah, I know its Monday!

What ya gonna do about it… I’m late… Late as ever… but instead of making you wait until next Friday for the first installment I’m putting this sucka up now and then I’ll put another one up on Friday also… Two in one week… It’s a celebration, bitches!!! (virtual cookie to whoever can tell me what that line is from)…. OK lets get it cracaklackin….

So for my first post I was going to show you how to make my most delish fish tacos with avocado cream sauce, adobo rice, and honey butter roasted sweet corn…

 

Honestly that meal was orgasmically delicious

Love days….

So its Valentine’s day…. Love on yourself and every one all around you day… Do that shit its effective…Michael is of course anti-Valentine’s day or doing anything for any of the “Hallmark Holidays“. According to him he’d rather celebrate a random Tuesday with a gift to show his love. Apparently, this random Tuesday has yet to arrive in the past 6 years but I’ve got my fingers crossed…

I’ve never really cared. I, mean, it’s not great for me to see other folks with their silly little flowers,teddy bears, cards, and candies. And all that stuff cause Michael shows me love in other ways that I am thankful for but….

Did you know there is going to be a BUT ?

But today I really just wish that when he walked through the door, he would have some half dead flowers or a little goofy dollar store teddy bear and a card. You know one of those cheesy between us hallmark cards that have some little goofy letter about how much he loves me, how important I am to him and all that I can’t live without you stuff that Michael is sooooooo not good at.

It’s just not his thing. Its not what he does. Its not what is important to him. Its not the way that he can best express his love for me.  For Michael, His ultimate show of affection is to get up everyday and “handle it” for us… This song is the perfect example of who Michael is as a romantic…

The first lyrics are a perfect example of him:

Verse 1
I was told the true definition of a man was to never cry
Work til you die (Yeah) Got to provide (Yeah)
Always be the rock for my fam
Protect them by all means
And give you the things that you need, baby

Our relationship is suffering
Tryna give you what I never had
You say I don’t know how to love you, babe
Well, I say show me the way
I keep my feelings deep inside
I shadow them with my pride ( I )
I’m trying desperately,
Baby, just work with me …

I have probably taken the garbage out once the whole entire time that I have been with Michael… The once might even be an exaggeration but I do have some vague recollection of me with a garbage going to the dumpster at least once in these past 6 years… Even when we had separate apartments he would come to my house and take my garbage out.  Romantic ? Not so much. But fantastic no less!

I’ve always had the option to work or not work.  Bread winning is not something Michael ever expects me to do.
If I want  continue to be the  super fierce and uber fabulous stay at home mama that I am now, he is all for it… Alternately, if I wanted to up and make myself into some high power corporate attorney working mama he would be on board! If I wanted to be a champion nose picker for the rest of my life Michael would support me in my quest and find me every single competitive nosepicking tournament there was. He truly wants me to live my life anyway that I choose to… And he supports me in that everyday.

He loovves to hold my hand and to touch me in anyway.  Not just in the sexy”Let’s Get It On” kind of way. But in the I honestly love you baby kind of way… If we are in any kind of close proximity together, some part of him will always be touching and rubbing on me.  Most nights we sleep with are feetsies all wrapped up together. Some nights he just holds my hand all night while we fall asleep.

He will tell everyone with in earshot all the little goofy things that I can do well. “Senam can distinguish any song in less than three notes.”

He calls me baby, my love, darling, sweetheart and any other combination of those words you can imagine. It makes my heart skip. Every. Single. Time.

He also has been known to tell people that he thinks that “Her (me) sprit is so bright sometimes I can see  it glow.”

His handwritten wedding vows were the most fantastic thing that brought the house down  and to tears at our wedding. I can’t even type it without falling apart but essentially it was all about how being with me is like being in the presence of constant, beautiful sunshine. We had surprise insciptions put into our wedding bands… In mine, Michael wrote, ” when the sunshines it shines forever…” At first I thougt Rhianna? WTF? But then I got it…

He is the first one( and the loudest) to clap at any poetry or whatever performance I ever have.

He is my biggest critic, toughest editor, my most fanatical fan, my biggest supporter and my greatest help.

He is my husband.

He is my very best friend.

He is my valentine.

So maybe he won’t come home with the teddy bear or the chocolates.

But he will come home and love on me the very best way he knows how… And I’ll take those kind of love days over some hallmark one any day…

Stay fierce, fabulous, and in the sunshine,

Senam

Head Diva in Charge

Typing with one hand…

Get your mind out the gutter…  Gosh my readers have the dirtiest minds… Hmmm, or maybe that’s just me. I guess whenever I hear that someone is typing with one hand I just automatically assume the other hand is down south taking them  on a trip to the happy place…

But my current situation assures me that that is not always the case.

I miss my man….

So I’ve got lots of glorious stuff to discuss!
The beloved almost 2 year-old is slowly moving up my favorite person chain to above Michael and right below Beyaki (Like I don’t even go that way but I even had to say DAMN when I saw that picture… And what kind of weave/lace front is that Indian remi, Asian supreme , or just plain fabulously fake! What ever it is she is doing IT)

Anyway, I’m just playing about the favorite person placements I love Beyonce way more than Michael! hee hee!

Anyway could the kid be any cooler…. Yea, she could be totally potty trained but I digress…

She is grade A Fantabulous!! I love her, love her, love her!!!

Currently she is totally in love with Alicia Keys’ No One.

Do you know the power of a little baby sitting in a grocery cart singing:
“ooooo onnnnee nnoooo unnnnneeee uh nana way o whut I feeeellllliinnn“
That stuff could get this whole Iraq thing under control…. I mean folks would be like you know with cute kids like this is the world what is there to fight over!

I mean there were big construction working dudes in the line with us cracking up! And she could careless… She’s like, “Whatever, Mommy, this is my jam!”

It was hilarious and really cute… Totally YouTube-able… but alas her mother is a lazy slub ole ME and I do not run around with a video camera or digital camera constantly strapped to my neck so you missed it… Bummer.

But if she continues on this track you can just call Michael and I, Matthew and Tina Knowles and she can be our own little “Destiny’s Child!” You can say ” NO, NO, NO” if you want to but Mommy got “Bills, Bills, Bills” and she could put in on that!

I’m just saying…

Moving right along….So, Michael left me y’all!

Not for real for real , But for like a week…. but he is in DC at some fabulous hotel having the time of his life at his union building workshops and the like… Its like totally a big deal that he got picked, huge honor, something like only 20 people in the nation get chosen every two years, it will allow him to be the best union builder he can be, help save jobs, help hundreds of families, blah, blah, blah….
All that is well and good but…..

Who the F**k is going to take the garbage out?

Soooooo, I acted like an ass about it initially…..

I’m allowed( but just a little teeny bit)

Thankfully, I have gotten myself together enough to be happy about the fact that he got this big opportunity and that he gets sometime to himself ,to learn, relax, and chill! Lord knows, that 60 hour work week working man deserves it!

But I miss my man! I love him… He’s funny and he makes me laugh and smile, and is particularly helpful in keeping my ridonkulos anxiety in check and he has a cute booty on top of all that! Not to mention his garbage taking abilities.

This is the longest we’ve been apart since we’ve been together… I was having all kids of panic attacks about it but then I just decided to do what Michael is always telling me to do:

“Chill the F**k Out!”

I have stopped worrying about the 8 million things that could go wrong! And I am now solely focused on the 8 billion things that will go right! It has made this whole thing a lot more pleasant…

I stopped freaking out about how bored the kid and I would be in the house and came up with all kind of fun activities for us to do… Last night, We had a fabulous tickle fight, the legend of which will be told for years to come.

There are some serious benefits to a week away from the hubby…

Michael is allergic to seafood…
The kid and I have been having a full blown “SHIRMPAGANZA!”
We just had shrimp fried rice, sweet and crispy shrimp, shrimp egg rolls, catfish fillets, shrimp toast and jam, and shrimp juice.

OK maybe not all that but we have been getting to know seafood intimately!

Michael is a blanket and bed space hogger…
Yesterday, slept in a total L shape right in the middle of the bed! And I used every single pillow on the bed!!!(insert evil laugh here and me screeching,”I am the PILLLLLOOOOWWW PRINNCCESSS!!!)

Michael is totally disgusted with my secret love of all things reality TV.
Its been a reality TV buffet all up and through this beeeootchh! Yesterday I watched the Biggest Loser, Real(llyFAKE) Housewives of the OC, Project Runway, Celebrity Apprentice, and American Gladiators, and the MTV gauntlet thing!! I am not ashamed.

Obviously, I’m over here trying to make lemonade out of lemons.

But it has been a fun flirting with him over the phone and IM. And I cannot wait to see him on Friday!!! Its like we had a long distance romance for a week! Its is such a nice little excitement to be like only 5 more days, only 2 more days…. I’m going to smother him in loving when he comes home!!

Stay fierce, fabulous, and smothered in lovin,

Senam

Head Diva in Charge at My Design Diva!

Note to almost 2- year old person who calls me….

Mommy….

It is not cool to make a monster poopy in your diaper and then come to me looking disgusted, while pointing at super toxic scented diaper SCREAMING:”ewwwwww….. sick!”

“ewwww sick, mommy! YUCKA!”

Ain’t nobody told you to shat yourself!

I’m just saying….

Stay fierce, fabulous, and poopy-free,

Senam

Head Diva in Charge
My Design Diva

FREE STD’s

So here’s the thing! I am dog sick!! Like low down dirty shame SICK!!! Really its just a hacking cough all over the place… But it is really making it hard to preserve my sexy…

I mean even though I am an official sexy beast. Its especially difficult to seductively welcome home your hard working postman of a husband, after a hard day at work with a half your lung in your throat but I tried…

ME(seductively purring):

“Hey Mr. Postma-AACCCHHHH COOUGH COOUGH AKKKK HACKK-nnn! Did you mi-GURGGGLE ACKKKK HACKKKK COUGH COUG-ssss me at work today?”

MICHAEL:
“Go lay your sick ass down somewhere!”

Ok it didn’t really go down like that but he wasn’t really trying to be all up on me after I cough in his mouth MID-KISS yesterday! BWAHAHAHAHA!! Is it wrong that I thought it was hilarious? I’m just saying he should have learned his lesson!

Anyhoo, I’m taking some classes this semester and of course today was the first day! And I am a total nerd about these things!

So, I HAAADDDD to go to the first day!! What kind of slacker would my teacher think I was!

Un uh! Fierce, fabulous me was going to the first day of classes even if I had to be coughing all over the place!!

DISCLAIMER: According to my QUACK I mean, my Doctor, has assured me I am no longer contagious! After all, it has been well over two weeks so now my body is just fighting off the last of it! If there was even the slightest chance I was contagious I would not have gone! I don’t play that contagious mess!

****Awww come on ^ that’s funny!!!”*****

So I went!

When the teacher went around the room asking us to introduce ourselves and tell about yourself I said.” Hi, my name is Senam and I am NOT Contagious!” I felt like I was at a CA meeting! A COOTIES ANONYMOUS MEETING! It wasn’t so bad though…. I only coughed for like two of the three hours! Of course then my phone died on me when I had to call Michael to come pick me up from class… So I had to ask this girl to use her phone and when I gave it back to her she was all wiping it down and spit-shining it to get my cooties off it! Is it wrong that that made me laugh?

Probably cause I would have done the EXACT same thing! But now that I understand the plight of the Outbreak Monkey I realize all he wanted was some love, DAMN IT!

But I digress…

So owning your own business means you can do really awesome stuff when the F*** ever you want to…

No boss to answer too. You can do the things you want when you want.

You know, things like abuse your power to give away free stuff to get more comments on your blog!!!

I mean, I know you are here…

I know you are reading this…

And I think you may sorta kinda a little bit like it!! Hmmm or maybe you hate it…

Either way you should tell me about it!!! So in order to encourage you to do just that…..

TADA!

I’m giving away a free STD!!!!!!!!

I know what your asking yourself!

“Which STD is she giving away? Herpes, chlamydia, genital warts?”

This is all starting to sound like Britney Spears’ latest checkup!” Ohhhhh BURRRNNNNN (LITERALLY;) I’m sorry that was foul!

Ewww Gross! Read the blog, homie! I’m talking about a WEDDING SAVE THE DATE DESIGN!! If you don’t need one of those I might be convinced to design you a menu or some water bottle labels… Don’t get crazy with it! A sista’s gotta eat! Anyhoo, ONE FREE SAVE THE DATE DESIGN with one free revision for a teeny tiny measly comment! Can you say good deal!

All you have to do is comment (leave your email address, please:) over the next 7 days and I will randomly pick one winner!

You can comment on any of the posts on the blog not just this one!

And if you don’t have a blogger ID or whatever just post as anonymous and leave your first name, your email address and your comment! If you have questions about the whole Save The Date giveaway you can email me at mydesigndiva@gmail.com!!

Ok that’s it! I’m off to go whisper some sweet coughings in my husbands ear….

Stay fierce, fabulous, and freeeeeeeeeee,

Senam

Head Diva in Charge

My Design Diva

BOOTLEG TRIAL RUN FOR MEGHAN

I’ve got STD fever!!!

So when I first started posting on Internet message boards and forums I was always so confused about the letter language that everybody was using!
WTF, FI,DH, OOT, DIY, PIB, and my all time favorite STD!
I know right! I will never forget one day when I innocently logged on to theknot.com message boards to be assaulted with a post in all caps loudly proclaiming:

I GOT MY STD’S!!!!!!

I almost spit my water all over the computer screen! All I could think was uhh, damn STD’s…PLURAL!!! Obviously she’s not living right!

But I was relieved to find out that STD was the Internet bride’s way of talking about her SAVE THE DATE cards!
With guests and family schedule’s being so packed couple’s have taken to sending Save the Date cards months in advance (usually 6-8 months before the wedding) to let their loved ones know about their upcoming wedding!
Is it absolutely necessary…. nope!
Is it a fun thing to do and another awesome way to brand your most fabulous wedding? Most divanitely, YES!

Lately I’m all about the save the date design! I’ve got new save the date designs up at my etsy store and the one up at the top is the newest design that I have been working on! I’m loving it! I hope you all don’t think I’m extra conceited putting our picture in all the designs! It just easier cause Mikey and I are willing guinea pigs!!

On the home front: I’m still fighting the INFLUENZA so I’m exhausted half the damn day! But I am pressing on with all my great life changes! Today when Michael came home he said “Oooh, you look cute!” and I did! I put on a little jean skirt, a cute red top, and some cute sandals just to chill around the house! Ya, I know its January but errr um its hot in my house! I’m embracing my inner fabulousness!

Just cause I’m a stay at home mom doesn’t mean I’m not a fierce one! I made the most delicious pot roast with creamy mashed potatoes and brown sugar cured baby carrots! I can barely move it was so delicious!!!

So my darling diva’s…..
When was the last time you home-cooked a deliciously divine meal for you and your family! Luckily, now that I am at home, I’m able to do it all the time. I know how the hustle and bustle of working, keeping up with bills, keeping it fabulous, and just being you can keep you at the local take out joint! That is perfectly fine! My takeout menu drawer can be my best friend but every once in a while its nice to make something totally from scratch…

It can be totally therapeutic to chop your own onions, peel your own potatoes, and watch your loved ones devour the meal you made all on your own. It makes me feel like even with all the craziness in the world for just this one moment I have given my family something of my own making, filled with nothing but my good intentions and love, something that will give them that good, full belly feeling that is so divine!

Stay fierce, fabulous and full of good food & good love,

Senam
Head Diva in Charge
My Design Diva

Booty….

So I haven’t been keeping up with the blog everyday and I don’t think everyday blogging is a realistic goal for me especially since My Design Diva is on and popping! I’ve been cranking out the new designs as you can see from my slide show below and I have been getting a lot orders!! YAY!!!New Manolo’s here I come!

And a very cool bonus is that all of the brides I have been working with have been unbelievably fierce and I love them all! Such fun and love-filled women just the kind of people I looooovee working for!

Anyway, the big reason for not writing is THE Motherf-ing INFLUENZA! Can you believe this madness I’ve got the flu. Not flu-like symptoms like some of you pansies(this means you Michael) had last year and claimed “to be going to meet your maker”. I’ve got the mother freaking INFLUENZA!!!

I’d like to have slapped the stank out of the doctor when she told me I had the REAL FLU!! She was all dramatic about it and freaked out about catching it! Like I been playing in landfills and picked up some totally specialized unbelievably contagious strain of disease! I mean it is a huge pain in the ass but getting the flu is totally common.

You think, she thought I had the Ebola cause I was black & AFRICAN?

Triflin! I swear I have not been hooking up with the Outbreak Monkey! I even put on the little surgical mask they give you and wore it the whole time! And since you are a DOCTOR,can you please stop with all the dramatics! She came in the room and was like “Well, Ma’am I hate to break it to you but you’ve got influenza! This could lay you out for months!You be in terrible pain and unable to do anything! Please keep your mask tied tightly cause we don’t want to get what you got” AND I QUOTE!!! I was like how did I get it she was like well you probably got it from being in contact with your kids Kids are petri dishes of infections!! I’m surprised she didn’t bring her tail in the room like this

It was so crazy all I could do was laugh I mean, All I could do was hack my lungs out and moan from the headache and aches and pains but if I can’t be sick at the doctors office where in the H-E-Double can a sicko like myself get some love!

Oh I know where in the bed with my husband: AKA the freak AKA the indestructible man AKA Michael!

I swear to goodness his horniness know no bounds. Like I was literally laying in bed with my left lung trying to escape my chest through my coughs, with a 101 degree fever and cold sweats and this dude climbs in the bed with me and starts to feel on my BOOTY!!!!

And maybe I was just hopped up on antibiotics but instead of slapping his ass immediately I thought” AWWWWWW my baby loves me and finds me attractive even in my sickest most disgusting moments. How sweet!”

And then I slapped him!

OK, not really but in some sick way it made me love him more that even with the INFLUENZA and the terrible way I looked and felt he still wanted to love on me! Yet another reason to embrace my fabulousness even my husband can resist the deliciousness that is me(and my boootyyyeee my boooootyyyy[shout out to R. Kelly’s ignorant behind)
Anyway Michael wasn’t all nasty about it either! As he said “that the best way he knows how to make me feel good so he was willing to take one for the team and make love to me all night to nurse me back to health.”

How selfless of him!
Ya right! What can I say My husbands a freakky Freak!

But I love that dude and he took great care of me with delicious chicken soup, warm towels and blankets, daily medicine checks, back rubs, and taking care of the baby and then taking her to my mom’s for the week so I could recuperate! !!!

HE meant well but he was a little misguided! I did break him off with a little something something once the dry heaving stopped ! hee hee!

Stay Fierce, Fabulous, and hopelessly in LOVE and LUST with your husband,

Senam
Head Diva in Charge

mydesigndiva.etsy.com

NEW DESIGNS